An Open Letter

Dear Chicago Lady Cop who wrote me a ridiculous ticket today while several vehicles behind me were engaged in the same behavior, not to mention the countless others who may do the same in the future depending on the length of the minor road construction at 3100 N. Ashland Avenue,

Thank you for giving me my first ticket. Ever. As if this already bright and sunny day needed your little piece of sunshine to make it better. I hope I helped you meet your March quota.

If only I could cite you with an attitude/appearance violation. A bottle of hair dye, a dermatologist and a nicotine patch would really turn things around for you.

And I'd like to apologize on your behalf to my sweet daughter, who may or may not have added a few cuss words to her ever-expanding vocabulary today.

Sincerely,

Tiffany Kapellas

Yes, it's a "p", not an "r", as you wrote on my ticket. Maybe throw in an eye exam into your makeover day!